I don’t remember the exact date of the darkest day of my life. But I remember what it looked like. I know the year and the month. I remember the place, I remember the sky above. I remember the grass below. I remember looking down on the road at the bottom of the hill.

I worked that day, and got off work and joined her in the park in Abingdon across from the Kroger shopping center. We sat under a pavilion and talked. It was the day I came closer than I ever had before to losing the most precious gift God had ever given me in my life. My best friend, my soulmate. And my soul ached at the sight of her pain, but there was nothing I could do to soothe it, for I was the cause. I remember thinking I’d trade my soul to the Devil if I could take it back, and to this day, I still would.

She had every right to walk away, and she almost did. I couldn’t stop her, nor should I. She deserved so much better than what I could give. But she didn’t walk away. She sat there, cried, and wondered about her future, and I wondered about mine. And so there we sat, the day’s end drew near, the end of a life, the end of an era, and the beginning of a new one, a new day, a new life, but who would be by my side tomorrow?

I had no way of knowing then, I just know my heart ached so much for what I had done to the most beautiful part of my life.

She stayed.

The minutes turned into hours that turned into days that turned into weeks, months, and now years.

She stayed.

The following several months were were difficult. But this is to be expected. It takes time to rebuild. When a hurricane destroys a city, it doesn’t get rebuilt overnight. It takes time… it takes years. Hearts can take longer.

She joined me on one last weekend trip over Labor Day in West Virginia. She trusted me to show her how to paddle a rented kayak near the Summersville. The first sign of trust restored, but still so much work left to do. But I’ll never forget the smile her on her face. I did get a photo of that smile, it is seared in my memory.

It was good to see her smile again. She often asks what do I love about her, what do I find so beautiful about her? The answer is her smile. Nothing else ignites my soul like her face warmly lit, the cute little thing she does when she covers her face when she’s embarrassed, or how she scuffs her hips when she’s nervous. But her smile is the work of Angels.

On another weekend, a milestone was crossed. The last day the pool was open at Riverside Campground, I helped her with her fear of water, and swam with her in the campground pool. Another demonstration of trust.

She trusted me on the river, she trusted me in the pool, but would she trust me with her heart? Time would tell. The chance to prove it would come a few weeks later. A new beginning. A new chance. An experience neither of us had done before. A scary, bold action.

When we first met, her family abandoned her. I still remember the look on her face when she looked at me, a scrawny, clueless 21 year old boy from central Virginia. At that time, I was all she had in the world. It took me over 20 years to build that trust, and only 15 minutes to tear it all down again. Would she trust me again?

The story continues on another day. We you come back, we take a journey to a places neither of have ever been before, with both us not knowing what the future laid in store for us. Only having each other, both our hearts hurting, but deep down inside, buried under the rubble, pain, hurt, crying and suffering, something that almost died and yet somehow, maybe, just maybe it survived. A seed.

Love.